Voting Rights: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Our main story tonight concerns voting. It is the subject of countless election PSAs which are always basically the same, celebrities essentially begging you to vote, but in 1988 there was a strikingly different one.
All I’m going to say about this is there is a surprise at the end and also at the beginning.
[Music] 200 years ago the constitution of the United States suggested a very simple way to keep fools like these out of our government. A reminder from members only. [Music]
Holy shit! What are you doing Members Only? That is a bold move, putting your name so close to Hitler.
Although, you know what? I will say it does actually fit pretty well considering that “Members Only” would have been a perfect slogan for the Nazis.
But I want to talk to you about voting because, as you undoubtedly know, the latest attack on voting rights in America is well underway.
A new report from the Brennan Center shows that between January and July, these 18 states passed 30 laws that restrict voter access.
They include crackdowns on mail-in and early voting, harsher voter id requirements, and voter roll purges.
Yeah, it’s true, all those states passed laws that make it harder for people to vote.
And if anyone is surprised to see New Hampshire up there, let me just remind you it’s a state that’s 88 white with a Republican governor and no adult seat belt law.
Sure, they present themselves as charming, but deep down they are basically just Florida with foliage. That is it!
And some of the biggest efforts to undermine voting rights have been concentrated in the closest states in last year’s election, especially these
three [Georgia, Arizona, Wisconsin], where Biden’s combined margin of victory was less than 43,000 votes.
If they had gone the other way, Trump would still be President right now, meaning COVID would be even worse;
we’d be at war with,oh I don’t know, let’s say, Luxembourg; and we’d all be living under Attorney General My Pillow Guy.
I know things are bleak right now, but depressingly, it’s also important to remember this is technically the better timeline.
And I know that those pushing these bills claim that critics of them are completely distorting what is inside them and that any objections could simply be cleared up with a basic step.
[quote]”I would encourage people to actually read the bill. Find out what the facts are. It’s time to take a chill pill folks it’s time to read the bill. Read the bill.
There is no voter suppression. Read the bill and show me one person who’s eligible to vote that will not be able to vote. You can’t find it.
It’s a lie. It’s just not there.”[quote]
All right well if that is your criteria, then you obviously win of course. No one is going to find a bill that literally says this specific person should not be allowed to vote.
Even though we all know there is someone who shouldn’t be allowed to vote, and it’s this guy. His name is Brandon Caruso. His favorite pizza topping is ‘No sauce.’
His favorite season of The Wire is ‘I haven’t watched it yet.’ And his list of celebrities he’d have sex with outside of marriage is exclusively, five times,
the wheel from Wheel of Fortune. Not Vanna. Not Pat. The Wheel. Five times. One, two, three, four, five, Brandon. But the thing is, if you do actually read these bills,
you quickly find they absolutely make it harder to vote, and particularly for certain people. So tonight, we thought we would take a look at the attack on voting rights and how best to fight it.
And let’s start with what is in these bills, because it’s a lot. For instance, in Texas, where remember that guy claimed you can’t find a single instance of voter suppression,
one thing that bill does is roll back a lot of the innovative measures put in place during the pandemic that made voting more accessible. Among other things,
it gets rid of 24-hour and drive-through voting. Both methods that Harris County implemented last year and as the county clerk who oversaw that election points out,
when you look at the precincts where those methods were most popular, it’s clear that the harm is pretty targeted. Why are we taking 24-hour voting away?
Because 56 percent of voters in November who use 24-hour voting were people of color. And they know that. Why are we taking drive-through voting away?
Because 53 percent of those voters in 2020 were people of color. Yeah it’s pretty obvious who is being targeted there. They may as well say you can’t arrive at a polling place
exhibiting a face in the Fenty 300’s or higher. Sure, you’re not saying people of color, but we all know what the fuck is happening and it’s not just drive-through voting.
Texas and all these other states have added new barriers to voting by mail, coincidentally, just a year after elections in which the percentage of black people who voted by mail surged past white voters.
Meanwhile, all these states have put harsher voter id requirements in place even though federal court cases found black and latino voters in states with harsh laws disproportionately lacked access to the types of voter ids required to vote.
So, already, when you do read these bills, you quickly find some in plain view! It’s like a second grader playing hide and seek. You’re bigger than the coffee table, bud, I can see your feet,
hands, full face, and you’re giggling very loudly. You didn’t do a good job at hiding.
And some of those pushing these bills, like this state representative from Georgia, even argue that if a law does make it harder to vote, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
[quote]I do believe that voting in this country is a privilege and it’s a right. And it’s a right as well, but it ought to mean enough where you could put forth a little bit of effort in trying to cast your ballot.[quote]
Okay. Except, something can’t be a right and a privilege that you need to work for, because those are two completely different things. For instance, it is a right for Brandon Caruso to imagine what hot,
tawdry sex with the Wheel of Fortune would be like; to imagine climbing on top of it and taking her all in; to think about the crowd watching him. Yeah, that’s right,
the studio audience is there and they’re rooting for him because he did it. Brandon finally did it! He’s finally fucked the Wheel! Imagining how good that would feel is Brandon’s right,
but actually getting to grab those pegs and give the Wheel a spin, that is a privilege! That should take years of effort, and look, none of this is anything new.
Republicans have been pushing restrictive voting laws for years. Back in 2013, North Carolina crafted a law that made it so the only acceptable forms of voter id were the ones disproportionately used by white people,
in a bill a federal appeals court later said targeted African-American voters “with almost surgical precision,” which has to be the second worst context in which to hear that phrase, topped only by surgery.
Look ma’am, your husband’s surgery was botched, we got in there with almost surgical precision. My team’s not a hundred percent yet, but we were really close on this one.
And frequently, these laws have been helped along by well-funded groups like the Heritage Foundation whose co-founder, Paul Weirich, famously admitted, “I don’t want everybody to vote,”
and whose former president, Jim Demint, once approvingly said in the states where they do have voter id laws you’ve actually seen elections begin to change towards more conservative candidates.
Pretty much giving the whole game away there, and Heritage is very much still at it. Just this year, the executive director of their sister organization, Heritage Action, actually bragged about their role in pushing this year’s new bills.
[quote]We’re working with these state legislators to make sure they have all of the information they need to draft the bills. In some cases, we actually draft them for them.[quote]
Ayah was a huge victory. Governor Reynolds signed the bill on March 8th with little fanfare. Honestly, nobody even noticed. My team looked at each other and were like ‘It can’t be that easy, it can’t be that easy!’
Well, hold on there, TJ Maxx, Ivanka Trump, because anyone saying it can’t be that easy to do anything other than sneaking their own snacks into the movies absolutely must be stopped.
The point here is this has been a concerted, organized effort over many years. But the reason it now has a much higher chance of working has to do with a pair of Supreme Court decisions that gutted the landmark 1965 Voting Rights Act,
which prohibited racial discrimination in voting. The first decision Shelby County versus Holder basically released these areas, which had a prior history of discriminatory voting laws,
from having to run any new ones past the federal government first before they took effect. And the second one, Brunovich versus DNC essentially found that even if a voting restriction has a discriminatory impact,
that in itself doesn’t necessarily violate the Voting Rights Act. Those two decisions basically made it easier for some states to pass discriminatory laws while at the same time making it much harder for anyone to challenge them.
And given that one of the dwindling ways that you can still successfully sue under the VRA is by demonstrating a bill is racially motivated, it is hardly surprising that those passing these new laws have been quick to shut down any discussion of their racial impact.
In fact, in Texas, in the midst of debating their new bill, there was this incredible moment. [quote]Members, as a reminder to everyone to be civil and respectful of our colleagues as we debate SB1, the chair would appreciate members not using the word ‘racism’ this afternoon.[quote]
Look, look, if the word you don’t want people to use is ‘racism’, I hate to break it to you but you’re doing a racism! Someone might have told you that sooner, but in fairness, you told them they’re not allowed.
A constant theme in debates over these bills is black elected officials pointing out their impact and their white colleagues telling them to be quiet. In Arizona, back in April,
they were debating a bill that makes it hard for many voters to receive an early ballot in the mail. But watch what happened when one lawmaker started pointing out the disproportionate impacts that that would have.
[quote]The effect of this bill will make it harder for independent voters, seniors, native americans, black, brown, and low-income people to vote.
To each of you –
Point of order! –
in 2022 –
Point of order! –
I have 12 words for you –
Point of order! –
Show up –
Point of order! –
Show out –
Point of order! –
Okay, you should never shout someone down when they only want to say 12 words, unless of course those 12 words are “His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married…”
And look, look, I know that obviously does not look good, but wait until you see that man’s colleague read from the rule book to explain his point of order.
[quote]In accordance with Rule 19a, no member shall be permitted to indulge in personalities, use language personally offensive, arraign motives of members, charge deliberate misrepresentation,
or use language tending to hold a member of the House or Senate up to contempt. And I feel personally that motives were arraigned of members including myself with regards to colored people,
black people, whatever people. This individual wants to single out in their ability to vote and I, I don’t think it’s correct. And I think he should be sat down and he shouldn’t be allowed to speak.[quote]
Oh fuck all the way off! I do not care what the situation is, the very second someone starts reading you the rules from a weird, tiny book they could just fuck right off into the sun.
Also, for the record, if you say the words ‘coloured people’ and it is not immediately preceded by ‘national association for the advancement of’ you are officially in time out.
But Republicans cannot just claim that they are not being racist in pushing these bills. They do still need a reason for them.
So what, exactly, is that reason? Well, for years they claimed that there was an epidemic of voter fraud despite the fact actual instances of that are incredibly rare.
So they have now shifted their justification from something measurable – what people are doing – to something much less tangible – what they are feeling. Just listen to the Lieutenant Governor of Texas making that exact pitch.
[quote]I’ve been asked why is this bill needed? Very simple: the bill is needed because Americans no longer trust the system, and a country where voters do not trust the system is a country in peril.[quote]
Yeah, okay, but you still need a reason to legislate against something. You can’t just do it based on a feeling. If that were the case, I would propose a bill to outlaw Tilda Swinton.
Why? Too creepy. She looks like a ghost who knows exactly how and when you will die, but won’t tell you because it’s more fun for her that way. But look, I will say,
despite the fact state and local officials found the last election to be the most secure in American history, the truth is many Republicans don’t trust the system.
But the reason for that might be that people like Dan Patrick spent all of last year calling voting by mail a scam by Democrats to steal the election and saying like this,
[quote]Look when you have an opportunity to steal a vote, the Democrats will take advantage of it. You can swing the balance easily, Ed. I could give you 10 scenarios but I won’t because I don’t want to give anyone ideas how you could easily steal thousands of votes.
Oh, come on! Damn! ‘I can give you 10 scenarios but I won’t’ – it’s just such an obvious lie. It’s right up there with ‘I have a girlfriend. She goes to a different school, you wouldn’t know her,’
or ‘I’m five minutes away,’ or ‘I’ve never sexually fantasized about lobsters.’ Come on! We’ve all done that! It’s natural. They’re stoic and terrifying, the perfect sexual combination.
What are we looking for if not someone who knows what they want but also hates you. That’s lobsters, buddy! We want their claws pinching our earlobes, not too hard, but honestly, hard.
You know, like when the dentist says ‘Does this hurt?’ and you say ‘No’ but you mean ‘Yes’ because you’re kind of curious what this dentist can do when pushed.
Do you know how many legs a lobster has? I’ll tell you: a sex amount. Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, that many. Fuck me stupid, you weaponized ocean fuck.
Here is four hit reasons why it would be cool to fuck an adult-sized lobster on holiday. They live a long time, meaning that they know what they’re doing.
Their backs are incredibly strong and responsive, I shouldn’t have to explain to you why that’s good sexually. They’re incapable of racism, and they can’t talk and ruin the mood.
We ask, is this good? And they just sort of wobble their horrible black eyes around. My point here is, we all think about having sex with burdened, unhappy lobsters all the time,
even in winter. And that is why we should not listen to Dan Patrick or, honestly, whoever it was I was talking about earlier, I don’t remember.
But here is the real thing, there is a reason that Patrick can give you 10 scenarios for Democrats stealing elections but no evidence, and that is because, despite saying he would pay up to a million dollars for evidence of voter fraud,
he has, to put it mildly, not paid out. And local election supervisors themselves will tell you that these bills make no sense. The Florida Supervisors of Elections strongly opposed their state’s new bill,
with one Republican Supervisor telling a reporter, [quote]It’s stupid, okay? It was a solution looking for a problem.[quote]
But it’s actually one step worse than that because these are solutions to problems that have been deliberately and strategically manufactured and the game is pretty obvious here.
Use claims to stir up baseless fear to pass unnecessary restrictions targeting particular groups. Just look what happened this week, the nonsense audit in Arizona came to a humiliating conclusion that failed to show, yet again,
that Trump was cheated of victory. But its organizers still recommended the legislature tighten up the election process to provide additional certainty going forward because, of course, they did.
It’s all a shameless attempt to get to the same place. So what can we do to fight all of this? Well, the good news is there is proposed legislation that addresses many of the problems that you’ve seen tonight.
The John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act would restore parts of the VRA the Supreme Court gutted. And, more substantially, there is the Freedom to Vote Act, which would, among other things,
make voting by mail available for every voter. Make election day a public holiday. And make automatic voter registration a national standard. It is great, unfortunately, Mitch McConnell has announced that he will filibuster any attempt to get either of those acts passed.
So, if we want to protect the ballot, which we absolutely should, we need to end the filibuster and you would hope that every national democratic politician would be absolutely screaming about this.
But some are doing the exact opposite. Joe Manchin has consistently defended the filibuster, and when Joe Biden was asked if he supports doing away with it to specifically protect voting rights this was his maddening answer:
[quote]What I don’t want to do is get wrapped up right now in the argument whether or not this is all about the filibuster or – look, the American public – you can’t stop them from voting.
You tried last time. More people voted last time than any time in American history. In the middle of the worst pandemic in American history, more people did and they showed up.
They’re going to show up again, they’re going to do it again.[quote]
Sure, Joe, maybe, or maybe they’ll show up and get turned away because of everything that we’ve been talking about here. Biden’s white house even reportedly told voting rights groups that it is possible to out organize voter suppression,
but the problem is, it isn’t. It just isn’t. That is what voter suppression is, as activists and actual organizers will tell you.
[quote]I’m very upset with President Biden because I feel like he’s not advocating for us in this moment. I mean, what I want him to see is is to stop saying to out organize voter suppression.
I want him to support the elimination of the filibuster. I want him to support and endorse the For the People Act because he’s accepted the step up to the plate. We are at a crossroads.
We need federal assistance immediately. If he’s incapable of that, he needs to be quiet and go.[quote]
Yeah, he’s right. The solution to voter suppression cannot be to just vote, for the same reason that the solution to being locked out of your home can’t be to tell someone, ‘Just go inside and get the keys.’
What the fuck are you talking about?! I’m locked out, how are you not understanding this situation?! All of this is to say to Joe Biden, Manchin,
and any other Joe who wants to skip doing anything significant and instead rely on the perseverance of the American spirit: Stop fucking around and fix this!
I know it is tempting to bang the optimistic drum that more Americans showed up last year than ever before and, by gum, they’ll do it again. But here is the thing,
the Republicans know that that might happen. That is why they’re doing this and anyone unwilling to do what it takes to actually tackle this problem should, and I cannot believe I’m going to borrow this quote,
[quote]really be sat down and not allowed to speak.[quote]